Friday, 1 November 2013

THE GIFT OF FAMILY (14); RAISING MORAL CHILDREN II

"My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her." - George Washington
 
 
There should be a moral connection between parents and their children, because the connected child begins their moral growth with some fundamental qualities like trust and sensitivity. These type of "early values" make it easier for parents to teach a child the "dos and don’ts" of existence. Moral parents can let the child understand right from wrong, and what’s expected per circumstance; thus the child believes unequivocally that "what daddy or mummy" says is right. It’s wrong to bully as long as mummy says it is; and it’s right if daddy says comforting a hurting child is.

The first 5 or so years of growing children are a window of opportunity that they unquestionably accept the values and virtues modeled by parents. What happens when children receive one “morality lecture” daily in their early years? Check this out for example. Keilah hurts her finger. “Let’s help her feel better.” Your son takes his friend’s ball. “Tommy feels sad because you took his favourite ball.” or “How would you feel if Tommy took your ball?”

Initially a child believes behaviours are right or wrong because you tell him or her so, or they considers the consequences. By five years of age your child begins to internalize your values: what’s right for you becomes right for them. Your values, virtuous or not, become part of your child.

Parents listen; you are the mirror your children will reflect all through their lives, paint a good picture. There will always be a part of you popping up in them from time to time, ensure it’s the better part.

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