THE GIFT OF FAMILY (39): FAMILY TIME BENEFITS

"Of all our social institutions, the family is perhaps the one with which we are most familiar. As we proceed through our lives, our experiences within the family give rise to some of our strongest and most intense feelings. Within the family context lies a paradox, however: although most of us hope for love and support within the family -- a haven in a heartless world, so to speak -- the family can also be a place of violence and abuse." - Marylin Poole

Tis the season to gather those you love and soak up the quality time together. We should do this all year round - even research shows that spending time with loved ones is good for health. The benefits are numerous. From decreasing loneliness to thrashing stress levels, from helping with quitting "bad" habits to making a difference in healthy eating habits. Find out some reasons why it's healthy to spend time with people you love.

1. Creating a stronger emotional bond between parents and children.

2. Allows for better communication between family members.

3. Promotes superior performances in school, as children who spend time communicating with their parents tend to get better grades.

4. These children are less likely to exhibit behavioural problems, since kids with parents who spend quality family time together typically have fewer problem behaviours.

THE GIFT OF FAMILY (15); HOW MUCH DOES YOUR CHILD COST?

“Be careful to leave your sons well instructed rather than rich, for the hopes of the instructed are better than the wealth of the ignorant.” - Epictetus

 

If the truth be told if every parent performed their God given responsibility towards their children in bringing them up, it is my opinion that the problems of the world would be cut in half.

His name was Rusty, and he was barely 11 years old. He still had the look of a little boy. He was homeless, not old enough to be hardened, but certainly old enough to be frightened. His mother lived in town, but she didn't want him. Rusty lived in the alley behind the shop of one of our church members. He slept in a cardboard box. In an effort to get legal custody transferred to a Christian foster home, a little group met in an attorney's office: Rusty, Rusty's mother, the social worker, the attorney, and a pastor. They were severing all legal ties between Rusty and his mother . . . and she did not care. The attorney carefully explained to Rusty's mother what was happening. He wanted to make sure that she understood that, in effect, she was losing all rights to her boy. Everyone was on the verge of tears—all except Rusty's mom. Then came the question. The attorney worded it carefully, "Mrs. Brown, do you understand that when you sign this form, you are signing over all legal custody to the designated children's home?" She nodded her head in the affirmative. "Mrs. Brown, do you have any questions?" She had only one. "Do I get any money for this?" she asked. Everyone seemed dazed by this sledgehammer query. There was a long pause. Finally, 11-year-old Rusty pulled out his pocket book, extracted a dollar he had earned sweeping floors, and gave it to his mother. And she took it!

In less obvious ways, all over the world, there are parents who are trading their parental responsibilities for the almighty dollar. Kids shouldn't have to grow up by themselves. Let me paraphrase: "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world...and loses his own children?

THE GIFT OF FAMILY (14); RAISING MORAL CHILDREN II

"My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her." - George Washington

 

 

There should be a moral connection between parents and their children, because the connected child begins their moral growth with some fundamental qualities like trust and sensitivity. These type of "early values" make it easier for parents to teach a child the "dos and don’ts" of existence. Moral parents can let the child understand right from wrong, and what’s expected per circumstance; thus the child believes unequivocally that "what daddy or mummy" says is right. It’s wrong to bully as long as mummy says it is; and it’s right if daddy says comforting a hurting child is.

The first 5 or so years of growing children are a window of opportunity that they unquestionably accept the values and virtues modeled by parents. What happens when children receive one “morality lecture” daily in their early years? Check this out for example. Keilah hurts her finger. “Let’s help her feel better.” Your son takes his friend’s ball. “Tommy feels sad because you took his favourite ball.” or “How would you feel if Tommy took your ball?”

Initially a child believes behaviours are right or wrong because you tell him or her so, or they considers the consequences. By five years of age your child begins to internalize your values: what’s right for you becomes right for them. Your values, virtuous or not, become part of your child.

Parents listen; you are the mirror your children will reflect all through their lives, paint a good picture. There will always be a part of you popping up in them from time to time, ensure it’s the better part.