EFFECTS OF ANGER (2)

Picture Credit: Marriageinspiration.com

Wisdom Nugget :"And as soon as he came near the camp and saw the calf and the dancing, Moses' anger burned hot, and he threw the tablets out of his hands and broke them at the foot of the mountain."

We have earlier said that Anger is one word short of Danger; and one of the Dangers of uncontrolled anger is the words we speak in the heat of provocation. Words are spirit, and either life or death. Now spirits either help or they haunt you (depending on whether they are good or bad spirits) and every time we speak we release spirits into people's lives and years after we have spoken, those words are still helping them or haunting them, and some words never go away until the people die. This wise saying spells out the Rule of the game: "...let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.

A furious father in a moment of rage and anger called Jude, his four-year-old son, a goat because the boy had misbehaved. This name-calling continued several times, for about six months. Then, one morning a visitor knocked on their door and was welcomed by the young Jude. “Hello my boy, what’s your name?” asked the visitor.
“My name is Goat,” answered Jude.
“No, no, no, your name is not goat,” protested the visitor. Just then Jude’s father came into the living room.
“Daddy I told just told Uncle that my name is Goat but he wouldn’t believe me,” Jude told his father with a glee.
“Shut up! How can you say that your name is goat?” queried his father.
“But father isn’t that the name you've always called me in this house?” Jude replied…

Today, ask yourself, as a friend, a teacher, a parent, a colleague, an elder brother or a spouse,how have your angry words affected people? Do your words haunt them like "Dracula", or are they motivational like "Yes you can"?

Donald Trump once told the very touching story of a young boy he met on a Prison visit who said to him "I am what my father always said I would be. Every time my father was angry with me he always said " John you will end up in prison, and today I have." And feeling very sorry for him Donald Trump said to the boy, "Interestingly, I too am what my father always used to say I would become. My father always used to say to me "Son you will be a millionaire" and today I am."
Getting angry can sometimes be like leaping into a wonderfully responsive sports car, gunning the motor, taking off at high speed and then discovering the brakes are out of order.

You may feel very much justified in your outbursts of anger, but be careful what you break (say). While you may obtain forgiveness, a person's life may never be the same again.

MANAGING ANGER

Anger

Wisdom Nugget: "Sensible people control their temper;they earn respect by overlooking wrongs."

Anger is not a cause. In effect, ask yourself, “why am I angry?” to get to the root of the matter. We often get angry:
(1) When we are hurt, (2) When we feel frustrated and
(3) When we feel threatened.

I learned one lesson from a pussy cat . When you back an animal into a corner, it comes out fighting. People can be the same way. Gentle teasing, personal insecurities, motives-questioned make us feel threatened and consequently, drive us mad. Anger is a choice, we get angry because we choose to. .

The third principle for taming temper is…

3. Resolve your anger quickly. Admit it, Understand it, Deal with it! “do not let the sun go down on your wrath”. That doesn’t mean people in Nome Alaska can be mad for six months straight every year with out dealing with their issues. Don’t finish the day with anger unresolved. Anger metamorphoses into resentment which cannot be justified. Do not prolong or put off settling the score. Do it quickly. Resolve each day’s anger by the end of the day, this is one great principle that should be practiced in every marriage.

**Principle: Never go to bed angry. Don’t cultivate a grudge!

Like the guy who said, “Do you wake up grouchy in the morning?” and another guy replied, “No, I usually let her sleep.”

4. Control your anger
Our hand is on the control knob. Uncontrolled anger can and will ruin your life. Do not let your anger gain control over your thoughts and actions. Guard your heart and thoughts diligently.

HOW DO YOU CONTROL YOUR ANGER?

Just as you learned to cross a street, remember these three words next time you start getting angry.

1.    STOP, and think before you speak. When we get mad we say things we cannot take back. Unringing a bell? "A closed mouth knows no foot. A sharp tongue is the quickest way to cut your own throat. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger".

2.    LOOK at the situation from another point of view. Anger is temporary insanity. More often than not, overlooking wrongs can save one a great deal of trouble in the end. To forbear is divine. "A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult".

3.    LISTEN to people with whom you're angry. Most of the time, the people we’re dealing with are hurting and don’t know how to express it. An angry person is a hurting person. Hear each other out.  "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry for man’s anger does not bring about a righteous life." This sums everything up: Man’s anger fails to fix anything.

In a 1994 article, "Wars’ Lethal Leftovers Threaten Europeans," Associated Press reporter Christopher Burns writes: "The bombs of World War II are still killing in Europe. They turn up--and sometimes, blow up--at construction sites, in fishing nets, or on beaches fifty years after the guns fell silent. " Hundreds of tons of explosives are recovered every year in France alone. Thirteen old bombs exploded in France in 1993, killing twelve people and wounding eleven the Interior Ministry said. "Unexploded bombs become more dangerous with time. With the corrosion inside, the weapon becomes more unstable, as the detonator can be exposed."

What is true of lingering bombs is also true of an untamed temper - it can explode when we least expect it. And there will be casualties.

How can I tame my temper?
By admitting my anger, understanding how it works, resolving issues quickly and exercising control.

 weaknesses.