THE GIFT OF FAMILY (39): FAMILY TIME BENEFITS

"Of all our social institutions, the family is perhaps the one with which we are most familiar. As we proceed through our lives, our experiences within the family give rise to some of our strongest and most intense feelings. Within the family context lies a paradox, however: although most of us hope for love and support within the family -- a haven in a heartless world, so to speak -- the family can also be a place of violence and abuse." - Marylin Poole

Tis the season to gather those you love and soak up the quality time together. We should do this all year round - even research shows that spending time with loved ones is good for health. The benefits are numerous. From decreasing loneliness to thrashing stress levels, from helping with quitting "bad" habits to making a difference in healthy eating habits. Find out some reasons why it's healthy to spend time with people you love.

1. Creating a stronger emotional bond between parents and children.

2. Allows for better communication between family members.

3. Promotes superior performances in school, as children who spend time communicating with their parents tend to get better grades.

4. These children are less likely to exhibit behavioural problems, since kids with parents who spend quality family time together typically have fewer problem behaviours.

THE GIFT OF FAMILY (15); HOW MUCH DOES YOUR CHILD COST?

“Be careful to leave your sons well instructed rather than rich, for the hopes of the instructed are better than the wealth of the ignorant.” - Epictetus

 

If the truth be told if every parent performed their God given responsibility towards their children in bringing them up, it is my opinion that the problems of the world would be cut in half.

His name was Rusty, and he was barely 11 years old. He still had the look of a little boy. He was homeless, not old enough to be hardened, but certainly old enough to be frightened. His mother lived in town, but she didn't want him. Rusty lived in the alley behind the shop of one of our church members. He slept in a cardboard box. In an effort to get legal custody transferred to a Christian foster home, a little group met in an attorney's office: Rusty, Rusty's mother, the social worker, the attorney, and a pastor. They were severing all legal ties between Rusty and his mother . . . and she did not care. The attorney carefully explained to Rusty's mother what was happening. He wanted to make sure that she understood that, in effect, she was losing all rights to her boy. Everyone was on the verge of tears—all except Rusty's mom. Then came the question. The attorney worded it carefully, "Mrs. Brown, do you understand that when you sign this form, you are signing over all legal custody to the designated children's home?" She nodded her head in the affirmative. "Mrs. Brown, do you have any questions?" She had only one. "Do I get any money for this?" she asked. Everyone seemed dazed by this sledgehammer query. There was a long pause. Finally, 11-year-old Rusty pulled out his pocket book, extracted a dollar he had earned sweeping floors, and gave it to his mother. And she took it!

In less obvious ways, all over the world, there are parents who are trading their parental responsibilities for the almighty dollar. Kids shouldn't have to grow up by themselves. Let me paraphrase: "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world...and loses his own children?

THE GIFT OF FAMILY (14); RAISING MORAL CHILDREN II

"My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her." - George Washington

 

 

There should be a moral connection between parents and their children, because the connected child begins their moral growth with some fundamental qualities like trust and sensitivity. These type of "early values" make it easier for parents to teach a child the "dos and don’ts" of existence. Moral parents can let the child understand right from wrong, and what’s expected per circumstance; thus the child believes unequivocally that "what daddy or mummy" says is right. It’s wrong to bully as long as mummy says it is; and it’s right if daddy says comforting a hurting child is.

The first 5 or so years of growing children are a window of opportunity that they unquestionably accept the values and virtues modeled by parents. What happens when children receive one “morality lecture” daily in their early years? Check this out for example. Keilah hurts her finger. “Let’s help her feel better.” Your son takes his friend’s ball. “Tommy feels sad because you took his favourite ball.” or “How would you feel if Tommy took your ball?”

Initially a child believes behaviours are right or wrong because you tell him or her so, or they considers the consequences. By five years of age your child begins to internalize your values: what’s right for you becomes right for them. Your values, virtuous or not, become part of your child.

Parents listen; you are the mirror your children will reflect all through their lives, paint a good picture. There will always be a part of you popping up in them from time to time, ensure it’s the better part.

THE GIFT OF FAMILY (13); RAISING MORAL CHILDREN

A group of six-year-olds are playing and one of the children falls, scrapes her knee and starts crying. One child offers a reassuring “I’m sorry you’re hurt” and shows a desire to comfort. On the other hand another child laughs and calls, the child “cry baby.”

The little illustration above is a common experience among children. It happens every time; most times we just laugh over such experiences and forget it afterwards. Truth be told, such reactions and responses tell a great deal about the kind of family (home) each child is coming from - whether it's a caring one or an uncaring one. Your children will only develop into caring adults or individuals if they have experienced same growing up.
Bringing up moral children is a way of saying, teach your children to live by the rules. If you want your children to go about treating others like you want others to treat them, then you have to teach them how to be able to think through an action before doing it and to judge how the consequences of that action will affect themselves and others; in this lies the basis of a moral person.

It’s in the family caring children are raised; parents are the child’s first morality teachers. Observations as well as countless studies show that infants are more likely to become moral children and adults if they experienced their parents doing same. The one quality that distinguishes these children from kids raised in a detached parenting style is sensitivity. Plant it in your children good morals and watch it sprout. Other virtues, such as self-control, compassion, and honesty and so on are by products. Here’s how to raise morally upright children.

THE GIFT OF FAMILY (12); YES I DO!

The simple statement “YES I DO”, taken in isolation is a gentle, harmless expression of agreement, however, in the context of a marriage union and the family, it is a powerful expression of a covenant between two people called the couple, the foundation upon which a family is to be built and the seed that God is hoping to forge and nurture a group of people that will impact the world around them. When viewed in this light, this expression puts great responsibility on the couple to protect & preserve at all cost their union. It is rather unfortunate, that in this generation the slightly pressure seems to be able to break up the marriage union, in fact it has almost become fashionable to expect a separation. 

A couple married for 15 years began having more than usual disagreements. They wanted to make their marriage work and agreed on an idea the wife had. For one month they planned to drop a slip in a "Fault" box. The boxes would provide a place to let the other know about daily irritations. The wife was diligent in her efforts and approach: "leaving the jelly top off the jar," "wet towels on the shower floor," "dirty socks not in hamper," on and on until the end of the month. After dinner, at the end of the month, they exchanged boxes. The husband reflected on what he had done wrong. Then the wife opened her box and began reading. They were all the same, the message on each slip was, "I love you!"

It takes more than a feeling of euphoria and excitement to make a marriage work, your union must have the storm withstanding characteristic called COMMITMENT, an agreement to make it work, and for this to happen someone has to be love more and be willing to pay the price. An entire generation will be grateful that your union survived and thrived.