CHANGE YOUR TOOL

"Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too." - Will Smith

There was once a missionary with her husband and family after an unusually tiring stint of service. For the first time she was going to have a place of her own, a new, large town house-styled apartment-she'd been looking forward to this. A few months after some new neighbours moved in. The best word to describe them? Uncivilized. There was loud music, with a constant flow of obscenities always. They urinated in the front yard in broad daylight - totally disrupted her peace. She asked the Lord to help her be more loving but she got back disgust and rejection. The crisis came when she returned home to discover that her neighbours’ children had sprayed orange paint all over her beautiful patio - the walls, floors - everything! She was distraught and furious. She tried to pray but found herself crying out, “I cannot love them. I hate them!” Knowing she had to deal with the sin in her heart, she began to converse with the Lord in

WHAT ARE YOU?

“The more we love, the better we are, and the greater our friendships are, the dearer we are to God.” – Jeremy Taylor

A real friend will possess these qualities and even more which can be important for you. If you also give these qualities to your friend there is no chance that your friendship will ever break. These qualities are important for a lifetime friendship and that is what we all expect about real friendship.

Out of the furnaces of war come many true stories of sacrificial friendship. Two friends in World War 1 were inseparable. They had enlisted together, trained together, and fought side-by-side in the trenches. During an attack, one of the men was critically wounded in a field filled with barbed wire obstacles, he was unable to crawl back to his foxhole. The entire area was under enemy crossfire, and it was suicidal to try to reach him. Yet his friend decided to try. Before he could get out of his own trench, his sergeant yanked him back inside and ordered him not to go. “It’s too late. You can’t do him any good, and you’ll only get yourself killed.” A few minutes later, the officer turned his back, and instantly the man was gone after his friend. A few minutes later, he staggered back, mortally wounded, with his friend, now dead, in his arms. The sergeant was both angry and deeply moved. “What a waste,” he blurted out. “He’s dead and you’re dying. It just wasn’t worth it.” With almost his last breath, the dying man replied, “Oh yes, it was, Sarge. When I got to him, the only thing he said was, ‘I knew you’d come, Jim!

WHAT ARE YOU?

“The more we love, the better we are, and the greater our friendships are, the dearer we are to God.” – Jeremy Taylor

Friendships are valuable in our lives. Everyone wants "a real friend" for many reasons. Nobody wants to feel lonely and a friend can help you through this process. You need a friend if you are in trouble, to make fun with, to share experiences, to talk with and to be there for each other. However, it might not really be easy to find a good quality friend; there are many qualities a real friend should possess.

George Fox was an English Dissenter and a founder of the Religious Society of friends, commonly known as the Quakers or Friends. Fox complained to judges about extremely harsh decisions he considered morally wrong, as in his letter on the case of a woman due to be executed for theft. He campaigned against the requirement to pay tithes, which was a tax to fund absentee landlords. He was arrested numerous times for speaking out. In 1660, after his arrest in Lancaster, a Friend went to Oliver Cromwell, the leader of England, and offered himself, body for body for Fox. If Cromwell would accept the substitution, the friend would be imprisoned and Fox would be set free. Cromwell was so struck with the offer that he said to his council, "Which of you would do as much for me if I were in the same condition?" Although he could not accept Fox's friend's offer, because it was contrary to law, yet the power, he said, and truth of this generous offer "came mightily over him."Cromwell met with Fox several times in next few years and each time was impressed with Fox's faith and the loyalty of his friends.

These are some qualities every friend should have:

BITTERNESS LIKE POISON

“Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” – Ron McManus

One reason that bitterness is so extremely dangerous is because it can take root, grow, spread and spiritually contaminate and defile your heart and spirit before you even realize.

In 1932, comic book artists Joe Schuster and Jerry Siegel created the Superman character. For six long years during the Great Depression the two tried to market their comic book hero, but no one was interested. Then in 1938, editor Vin Sullivan chose it as the cover feature for National's Action Comics. The following year, Siegel & Schuster initiated the syndicated Superman comic strip. As part of the deal which saw Superman published in National Action Comics, Siegel and Schuster sold the rights to the company in return for $130 and a contract to supply the publisher with material for ten years.

YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!

"I am good at walking away. Rejection teaches you how to reject." - Jeanette Winterson

Steven was a young man that felt the call of God on his life. He came from a really close family. He finished his college and then went off to seminary. After finishing seminary he came back before going to his first church. He visited with all of his relatives for about a week. He stopped by the church and talked to his hometown Pastor. The Pastor asked him if he would like to preach this Sunday. He felt honoured and agreed. Sunday morning came and after days, of preparation he stepped up behind the pulpit looked out at the congregation of friends and relatives and started to expound the knowledge that he had learned. Well, his young niece, Kathleen, about six years old - stepped out into the aisle and put her hands on her hips - her left foot out in front of the other - her head cocked to one side - then she said in a very loud voice for her age. “Uncle Michael, You don’t know what you are talking about!”

On this burning subject of rejection; we have left out a category of people even though we have considered being rejected by groups, categories and classes of people we can relate with easily. We haven't talked about toddlers. Everyone's carrying a cute little baby, you reach out to the baby too, but it refuses your gesture. That's rejection, it's hard to handle from anybody - but from a six year old it is really tasking.

What happens when we get rejected by people far younger than than we are; maybe a little 6 year old niece or nephew? Do we fall and die or laugh over it? Yes, that's what we should learn to do when our peers or society reject us - laugh over it!

OPPORTUNITY COMES BUT ONCE?

“Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long, you miss them” - William Arthur Ward

Some people have had different life-changing opportunities at some point in their lives. But being able to take advantage of as many opportunities as possible is important. Sometimes just one opportunity can mean the difference between an extraordinary life and a mediocre one. Unfortunately, opportunities don’t last forever. But the good news is that you can take steps to make sure you don’t miss out on something truly life-changing.

Some years ago an energetic young man began as a clerk in a hardware store. Like many old - time hardware stores, the inventory included thousands of dollars' worth of items that were obsolete or seldom called for by customers. The young man was smart enough to know that no thriving business could carry such an inventory and still show a healthy profit. He proposed a sale to get rid of the stuff. The owner was reluctant but finally agreed to let him set up a table in the middle of the store and try to sell off a few of the oldest items. Every product was priced at ten cents. The sale was a success and the young fellow got permission to run a second sale. It, too, went over just as well as the first. This gave the young clerk an idea. Why not open a store that would sell only nickel and dime items? He could run the store and his boss could supply the capital. The young man's boss was not enthusiastic. "The plan will never work," he said,

REJECTION IS COMMON TO ALL

"Sometimes I feel my whole life has been one big rejection." - Marilyn Monroe

Have you ever asked the question “WHY ME?”, after you have been disappointed; you weren't picked for the promotion, did not pass the interview, your show of love and affection turned down, your calls not returned, or even something as simple as not getting back a smile after you offered one?

The truth is that rejection hurts, but you must also keep another truth in mind, “it happens to everybody”. In answering the question, who can be rejected? The simple answer is, EVERYONE.

Robert Fulton, the American engineer and inventor was among the brilliants minds of the 18th century widely credited with developing the first commercially successful steamboat, he is also credited with inventing some of the world's earliest naval torpedoes for use by the British Navy. In 1800, he was commissioned by Napoleon Bonaparte to design the Nautilus, which was the first practical submarine in history. But the story was not all rosy, after Fulton got the idea of using steam to power boats, he excitedly shared this breakthrough invention with Napoleon, to which Napoleon replied “What, sir? You would make a ship sail against the wind and currents by lighting a

SLEDGE HAMMER FOR THE SOUL

"A boo is a lot louder than a cheer.” - Lance Armstrong

There are many things human nature, no matter how recurrent they are, cannot get used to, one of such things, is the phenomenon called REJECTION. The word rejection was first used in 1415, its original meaning was “to throw back at”, and I find this definition perfectly suitable in the light of our focus for the next few weeks on wisdom4winning. The sting of rejection lies in the fact that a good gesture, intent, desire or action is thrown back at you without as much as a response. The English dictionary defines rejection as “to throw out as useless or worthless, to discard”

Campbell Morgan was one of 150 young men who sought entrance to the Wesleyan ministry in 1888. He passed the doctrinal examinations, but then faced the trial sermon. In a cavernous auditorium that could seat more than 1,000 sat three ministers and 75 others who came to listen. When Morgan stepped into the pulpit, the vast room and the searching, critical eyes caught him up short. Two weeks later Morgan's name appeared among the l05 REJECTED for the ministry that year. Jill Morgan, his daughter-in-law, wrote in her book, A Man of the Word, "He wired to his father the one word, 'Rejected,' and sat down to write in his diary: 'Very dark everything seems. Still, He knoweth best.' Quickly came the reply: 'Rejected on earth. Accepted in heaven. Dad'"

FEAR OF REJECTION

"Don't let anyone, or any rejection, keep you from what you want.” - Ashley Tisdale

Don't let anyone, or any rejection, keep you from what you want.

Ashley Tisdale

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/rejection.html#b0MUieo4MiZk4P3G.99

Don't let anyone, or any rejection, keep you from what you want.

Ashley Tisdale

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/rejection.html#b0MUieo4MiZk4P

My land-lady Marie has a “vege” food store that I’m taking care of while she’s away in California. About a little while back, 2 freezers went down and $700 worth of vege food was lost. I called Marie and explained the situation to her.

A few days ago I was led in prayer to scrutinize my actions. I reached the painful and frightening conclusion that I needed to bring all of the facts to light for Marie. Right when I learned that there was anything wrong with the freezer, had I diligently worked to monitor it and communicate with Marie, much food probably could have been saved. My parents were here, and my dad, when we realized the freezer wasn’t freezing the food as it should, turned it to its coldest setting. I figured that would take care of the situation for the time being, and that there was no need to bug Marie about it immediately. Like I said, a few days ago I realized my actions were wrong, and that had I acted more diligently, who knows how much of the $700 loss could have been spared. Thoughts started running frighteningly through my head that night, how am I going to tell Marie? The fear of rejection set in, she’s going to be furious, or at least think horribly of me. I’m going to lose my reputation of being a responsible young man, and people are going to see me as negligent. I’m going to have to compensate the San Marcos church for the money that they lost. I went to sleep with those thoughts in my head, not looking forward to the morning but knowing that regardless of the outcome I had to do what was right.

FROM WHERE DOES YOUR ACCEPTANCE COME?

"Human beings, like plants, grow in the soil of acceptance, not in the atmosphere of rejection." - John Powell

It seems that almost everybody is affected by rejection to some degree. It's vital to understand how it works, and how to apply the cure. Rejection wounds us so deeply because it attacks our very person. It destroys our self-esteem, and attacks who we are and our purpose in life. This is why it is one of the most common tools that can destroy a person's life. Rejection has a way of destroying a person's life in a way that few other things can. The sad fact is that the number of people who are affected by rejection is staggering. Therefore overcoming rejection and it's effect is vital and absolutely essential.

Jason Stevens is a star of Australian Rugby League, a giant front row forward. He has represented his State and country on many occasions. But Stevens journey to the top of his sport was not easy. His mother migrated to Australia from Egypt when she was 17 years old. She married and had her four children, but then followed a horrific car accident that left Jason’s sister Vanessa seriously incapacitated, and a marriage break-up that left the family struggling financially and emotionally. When Jason was in primary school his mum bought him an Australian Rugby jersey. This was the first new item of clothing Stevens can ever remember owning. All his other clothes came from op-shops. Reflecting back on his upbringing Stevens said he was struck by two things. First he learned that love involved sacrifice. He discovered this watching his mother work two jobs to make ends meet, yet still find the time to transport her children to and from

IT'S HOW YOU SEE IT

"I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool not afraid of rejection." - Billy Joel

A young salesman became discouraged because he had been rejected by so many customers he approached. He asked a more experienced salesman for some advice.“Why is it that every time I make a call on someone I get rejected?” “I just don’t understand that,” answered the older salesman. “I’ve been hit on the head, called dirty names, and thrown out the door, but I’ve never been rejected.”

Rejection isn’t only about what happens to us but also how we interpret or respond to what happens to us. There are ways to treat the psychological wounds rejection inflict on us. It's possible to treat the emotional pain rejection elicits and to prevent the psychological, emotional, and relationship fallout that occur in its aftermath. To do so effectively we must address each of our psychological wounds (i.e., soothe our emotional pain, reduce our anger and aggression, protect our self-esteem, and stabilize our need to belong). We can decide on how we intend to feel after a seeming act of rejection is carried out against us.

IT'S COMMON

"A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success." - Bo Bennett 

In this world, at the present time, there will be those who do not recognize us for who we are, or respect us. Nevertheless, we are children of the King. And the Scripture says, “Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God.

It was the winter of 1926, an age where narrow-mindedness and bigotry still had power in many places. A woman from Chicago named Thelma Goldstein decided to go to Florida for her first real vacation. She was not familiar with the area, and she unknowingly drove to a restricted hotel in North Miami. “Excuse me,” she said to the man at the desk. “My name is Mrs. Goldstein, and I’d like a small room for two weeks.” “I’m awfully sorry,” he replied, “but all of our rooms are occupied.” Just then, she noticed a man checked out at the counter next to them. “What luck,” said Mrs. Goldstein. “Now there’s a room.” “Not so fast, Madam. I’m sorry, but this hotel is restricted. No Jews allowed.” “Jewish?” she said, “Who’s Jewish? I happen to be Catholic.” The man at the desk said, “I find that hard to believe. Let me ask you, who was the Son of God?” “Jesus, Son of Mary.” “Where was he born?” “In a stable.” The man pressed on, “And why was he born in a stable?” With her eyes flashing, she said, “Because a schmuck like you wouldn’t let a Jew rent a room in his hotel!”

DON'T REJECT YOURSELF

"I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool not afraid of rejection." - Billy Joel

To reject means “to throw away,” “discard.” It's the act of “being denied love.” The feeling of being discarded leads us to believe that we are unloved. When we feel unloved, we deem ourselves worthless. As much as we feel rejected, unloved or worthless that is how much we are unable to receive love, whether from God or people. Often, we hear when people tell us they love us, but we don’t truly recognize that love for the gift it is. Instead, we wait for the proverbial “other shoe” to drop, and anxiously anticipate when that love will be withdrawn.

There was a man whose life was characterized by failure. At the age of 22, his business failed. At 23, he ran for Legislature but was defeated. So he turned to another business, which failed when he was 24. At 25, things started to turn around when he was elected to Legislature, but at 26 his love died. He had a nervous breakdown at 27 and was defeated in his run for Speaker at 29. He was defeated at 31 when he ran for Elector, he lost in his run for Congress at 34, but then managed to win at 37.

REJECTION

"There's nothing like rejection to make you do an inventory of yourself." - James Lee Burke 

As a little kid, my family (parents) were so precious to me. I loved my father so much that anything he did must be right. He was my knight in shining armour. He was my hero. He was my comfort. Matter of fact I wanted to be like him when I grew up. I remember the way he used to give me a bath and prepare me for school. He taught me (I'm sure I learned from him), how to iron shirts and shorts so straight you'd think someone used a ruler to measure it. Somehow, I can't exactly remember what happened and things began to go wrong. My dad all of a sudden wasn't the loving, patient, concerned father he'd been. It got so bad he moved out of the house and one day in court while the issue of separation was being debated, he was walking out of the room when I rushed to him and he looked me straight in the eyes (a little 4 or so year old kid), and said "I'm not your father, ask your mother who your father is".

Now that happened many years ago, but the truth is from that moment on, I can't explain it, but I just noticed that a certain boldness eloped. Disappeared. I went through most of life with the mindset that I wasn't good enough to achieve anything good. I had a very low self esteem all my childhood years. I was intelligent, absolutely. But every time I felt, and I kept hearing "you're not good enough. Look at your friends they have both parents leaving together with them. They are the ones who are supposed to achieve greatness, not you". All my life I kept hearing that and into adulthood today I still fight "low self esteem", but thank God it's not as bad as it was growing up.

WHO HAS BEEN THERE?

"I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat." - Sylvester Stallone

As a youth corps member, serving my country after law school; my monthly allowance was N1000 (N700 from Government and N300 from the Law Firm where I served.) But it was my fiancée’s birthday. Don’t ask me how I managed to put together birthday gifts worth over N2700, but I did. Armed with the gifts which included a beautiful painting of her (I had paid someone to do a fantastic job. I had wanted to “wow” her to pieces).

I traveled all night from Makurdi to Ilorin (about 3 stops and different vehicles through the then very dusty roads of Benue, Kogi & Kwara states) only to arrive Ilorin in the early hours of the next morning. I put up with another male colleague and friend. It was there I refreshed and waited till the birthday party in the evening. As I arrived the venue of the party (the secretariat of the Nigerian Christian Corper’s Fellowship, NCCF Secretariat), I could tell I was about to sweep my fiancée off her feet. Then came the time for photographs and as varying groups, in the NCCF took their turns snapping with her, I couldn’t wait for the photograph of the day (the one with the both of us alone). But to my shock, as the Mc announced my name (as husband to be) and I stepped up to her in the midst of the ovation and shouts, she turned me down and publicly. She didn't want to take any photos with me. I could feel my intestines turning within me, my head spinning around me and my heart sinking within me. I prayed for the ground to open and swallow me but it wouldn’t. It was so embarrassing even to the brethren, that a few of the executives of the NCCF had to take her aside; for a pep talk, for her to stop the humiliation. Finally she reluctantly obliged, just to save the day. By the next day I was sick of high fever and for about a week after I couldn’t stand on my feet. Who has been there?

A MASTERPIECE

"The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique." -
Walt Disney 

Think what a remarkable, , and miraculous thing it is to be you. Of all the people who have come and gone on the earth, since the beginning of time, not ONE of them is like YOU! You matter. No one who has ever lived or is to come that has had your combination of abilities, talents, appearance, friends, acquaintances, burdens, sorrows and opportunities. No one can cook that meal, strum that guitar, sing that pitch, roll that drum, dance those steps like you can. No one’s hair grow exactly the way yours does. No one’s finger prints are like yours. No one has the same combination of secret inside jokes and family expressions that you know.

The few people who laugh at all the same things you do, don’t sneeze the way you do. No one prays about exactly the same concerns as you do. No one is loved by the same combination of people that love you, it's got to be you! No one before, no one to come. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY UNIQUE! Take pride in your uniqueness. You don't have to pretend in order to seem more like someone else. You weren’t meant to be like someone else. You do not have to lie to conceal the parts of you that are not like what you see in anyone else. You were meant to be different. Nowhere ever in all of history will the same things be going on in anyone’s mind, soul and spirit as are going on in yours at the moment. No one can reach out to others in the same way that you can. No one can speak your words. No one can convey your meanings. No one can comfort with your kind of comfort. No one can bring your kind of understanding to others.