WHOSE FAULT I

"Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future." - John F. Kennedy

In relationships every time, I often wonder why no sooner than a couple gets together they start having irreconcilable differences. It blows my mind to pieces and I'm like "what in God's green earth happened?" I read some time ago that, "until blame transfer stops, character building doesn't start". Is it surprising to discover that it's so easy for us to assume the next person is the problem? It's got to be the other person. It's either the way to look at me, or the way they talk to me. They are either too bossy or too full of themselves. They never take correction. They are so insensitive, so unromantic, so boring...the list is endless.

Here's a story. "My husband is an Engineer, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders. We courted three years and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, have all now seemed to have evaporated.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love. I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce. “Why?” he asked. Very shocked. “I am tired, there are not supposed to be reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, in deep thought. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to make you change your mind?”

Somebody said it rightly that, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I've started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered, “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince me, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said, ”I will give you your answer tomorrow…” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.(To be continued)

Only last weekend we celebrated love. It was Valentine's day and many relationships kicked off. Many gave a "yes" to the "will you marry me question". Still many tied the nuptial knots. An we'll agree many relationships broke too for whatever reason.

Before we quickly conclude that the other significant part of us; fiance or fiance, husband or wife (as the case maybe) is the problem, I suggest we point the searchlight inward first and we might just find some debris we need to clean up within. Who knows that might be the excess luggage causing the problem. Divorce isn't the answer neither is a new spouse or partner. Have a great Wednesday!