THE FOLLY OF UN-FORGIVENESS

"Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much." - Oscar Wilde

Un-forgiveness

How beautiful and yet how rare is forgiveness! Christ taught His disciples to forgive their enemies, and in this respect as in all others, He is our great example. He said amid the agonies of the crucifixion, "Father forgive them." A deaf mute being asked, "What is forgiveness?" took a pencil and wrote, "It is the odor which a flower yields when trampled upon," and Sir William Jones has given us the following extract from the Persian poet Sadi - The sandal-tree perfumes when riven, The axe that laid it low; let man, who hopes to be forgiven, forgive and bless his foe.

In a world where over 50% of our movies center on revenge and hate, bitterness and the ability to Rambo your enemy is fashionable, and the virtue of forgiveness seems old fashioned. But if truth be told few things make a man truly great as the power to forgive. If in doubt ask Nelson Mandela.

Battling With Guilt? Forgive Yourself

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If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.”

Whenever you look within, you hate yourself. You could kick yourself over and over for your past failures and choices. You've repented of your past mistakes, but you haven’t accepted the truth that all has been forgiven. You still feel ashamed and guilty about your past and you keep holding it against yourself.

 Untangle yourself from these feelings of guilt and condemnation. You need to forgive yourself. Not even an exorcism can redeem you. Unwillingness to forgive oneself deprives that person's heart of true joy and liberation.

Mr. Barwick, had a serious and painful circulation problem in his leg but rejected the recommended amputation. As the pain grew worse, Barwick grew bitter. "I hate it! I hate it!" he would mutter about the leg. At last he relented and told the doctor, "I can’t stand it anymore. I’m through with that leg. Take it off. Surgery was scheduled immediately. Before the operation, however, Barwick asked the doctor, "What do you do with legs after they’re removed?" We may take a biopsy or explore them a bit, but afterwards we incinerate them" , the doctor replied. Barwick proceeded with a bizarre request: "I would like you to preserve my leg in a pickling jar. I will install it on my mantle shelf. Then, as I sit in my armchair, I will taunt that leg, “Hah! You can’t hurt me anymore!’" Ultimately, he got his wish. But the despised leg had the last laugh. Barwick suffered phantom limb pain of the worst degree. The wound healed, but he could feel the torturous pressure of the swelling as the muscles cramped, and he had no prospect of relief. He had hated the leg with such intensity that the pain had unaccountably lodged permanently in his brain.

This provides wonderful insight into the phenomenon of false guilt. People can be obsessed by the memory of some sin committed years ago. It never leaves them, crippling their ministry, their devotional life, and their relationships with others. They live in fear that someone will discover their past. They go out of their way to prove to everyone that they have truly repented. They erect barriers against the enveloping, loving grace around them. Unless they experience the truth in this text which stresses the importance of forgiving oneself, they become as pitiful as poor Mr. Barwick, shaking a fist in fury at the pickled leg on the mantle. Imagine the pain and loneliness you feel when you despise yourself.

 As American writer, Mark Twain, puts it, “The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”

Life is a gift. And the recipient of a gift ought to receive it gladly and with joy.If the recipient receives the gift, but ignores it, the giver is mocked, belittled and feels unappreciated.

When we fail to forgive ourselves, we are like a child who is given a trip to Disney World for Christmas, yet keeps complaining that he can't go, even after his parents have already pulled the car out of the driveway and are waiting on him to get in! How would you feel if you were that child's parents? Wouldn't you feel terrible, knowing that you spent all that money on this trip: the tickets, the hotel reservations, etc.,And if your child rejects the gift because he doubts its (the gift's) reality? 

 Make up your mind today to forget the past so you can live in the fullness of your present. It's time to move forward.

Love Doesn't Remember Transgressions Done Against It

Wisdom Nugget : "...if you forgive others for the wrongs they do to you, then you...will also (be) forgiven your wrongs. But if you don’t forgive others, you will not (be) forgiven the wrongs you do.

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Thomas Fuller said "He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man has need to be forgiven."

As difficult as forgiveness might seem, it is for your own benefit, I have discovered that forgiveness is easier when i focus on "my own need for forgiveness", on a daily basis. Now, by human standards, I consider myself as decent and civil, but if as good as I am, I still need this amount of forgiveness daily, then I submit that any relationship, family, organization or community that does not make provision for plenty of forgiveness is brutish, barbaric and cruel.

 In "The Christian Leader," Don Ratzlaff retells a story. Vernon Grounds came across in Ernest Gordon's Miracle on the River Kwai. The Scottish soldiers, forced by their Japanese captors to labor on a jungle railroad, had degenerated into barbarous behavior, but one afternoon something happened. A shovel was missing. The officer in charge became enraged. He demanded that the missing shovel be produced, or else... When nobody in the squadron budged, the officer got his gun and threatened to kill them all on the spot . . . It was obvious the officer meant what he had said. Finally, one man stepped forward. The officer put away his gun, picked up a shovel, and beat the man to death. When it was over, the survivors picked up the bloody corpse and carried it with them to the second tool check. This time, no shovel was missing. Indeed, there had been a miscount at the first check point. The word spread like wildfire through the whole camp. An innocent man had been willing to die to save the others! . . . The incident had a profound effect. . . The men began to treat each other like brothers. When the victorious Allies swept in, the survivors, human skeletons, lined up in front of their captors (and instead of attacking their captors) insisted: "No more hatred. No more killing. Now what we need is forgiveness." Sacrificial love has transforming power.

If our marriages will work, if our houses will be homes, if our streets will be safer, if our communities will be inhabitable again, then we must both embrace and dispense forgiveness. Remember, "if you don’t forgive others, then you will not be forgiven the wrongs that you do."

Love Keeps No Score Of Wrongs

Wisdom Nugget :"...Love does not remember wrongs done against it."



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The word "offense" was coined from the Greek word "skandalizein", and the Latin word "scandalum" from where the word "Scandal" originated.
The word was used to describe  "a mouse  trap with a springing device" especially the part with the spring that usually traps the mouse once it goes off. It was usually said to have "OFF" "ENDED" (i.e. severed the head of the mouse from the body) . In the New Testament, it was used metaphorically as "a stumbling block, offense or snare laid for an enemy." Nothing could be farther from the truth. An offense or a grudge is a spiritually scandalous thing. It spreads negative information (scandal )about you in the enemy's camp and alerts them that you are GUILTY, and consequently, you are vulnerable and defenseless, and if you still do not forgive, it OFF - ENDS your destiny.

Hannah More once wrote : "Forgiveness is the economy of the heart... forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits".

Ron Rose was preparing for a sermon in his office when a woman walked in to complain abouthow  Ron's sermons were always about forgiveness and grace. She said he needed to come down harder on the sinners, and in her words, "nail them."
After her rant, Ron asked, "So, you’ve got forgiveness and grace all worked out in your own life?"
"Well, Ron" she replied, "there are some things you can’t turn loose of, things that don’t deserve grace, or forgiveness. That’s just the way it is. I know it’s that way in my family."
She leaned over his desk and revealed a heart hardened by resentment and bitterness, "No, forgiveness is not an option. I’ve been hurt too much."
The grudge was too embedded. And she was powerless and trapped in the wilderness. Lack of forgiveness had turned her into a critical, judgmental woman.

Ron went on to say "She wanted me to make everyone else as miserable as she was."

A teacher once told each of her students to bring a clear plastic bag and a sack of potatoes to school. They were instructed to call to mind every person they had a grudge against. For every person they refused to forgive, they chose a potato, wrote on it the name and date, and put it in the plastic bag. They were told to carry this bag with them everywhere, putting it beside their bed at night, on the car seat when driving, on their lap when riding, next to their desk during classes. Some bags became quite heavy. Lugging this around, paying attention to it all the time, and remembering not to leave it in embarrassing places was a hassle. Over time the potatoes became moldy, smelly, and began to sprout "eyes." To bear grudges is to stink.

Often we think of forgiveness as a gift to the other person, but it clearly is a gift to ourselves.
To forgive is to set a prisoner free only to discover that that prisoner was you.

LOVE KEEPS NO SCORE OF THE SINS OF OTHERS

LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS DONE

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Wisdom Nugget :"...Love keeps no record of being wronged."

 Love doesn't keep score of the wrongs of others. Love thinks no evil and it takes no account of the evil done to it; it pays no attention to a suffered wrong.

As long as you are in love or in any relationship which requires you to show some measure of love (and/or respect) to another person, you will be wronged; there will be unpleasant experiences in your dealings with the other party. Whether or not these wrongs are done intentionally or unintentionally, do not keep records. As you forgive, delete and format from the system so that the information cannot be retrieved (when badly needed for evidence) . Do not remember the wrongs done against you by your partner. This is not just an opinion; it is a law of nature. Something in the filing cabinet of the human spirit rejects files containing toxic materials such as offenses and wrongs done, and anytime you forcefully store those files they start manifest themselves in the physical through such  medical abnormalities as cancerous growths. Arguably, this is one of  the reasons why this generation has an astronomical increase in cases of cancer even in young adults.

It was H. Jackson Brown, Jr. who said "Never forget the three powerful resources you always have available to you: love, prayer, and forgiveness." Forgiving and forgetting are imperative to your well-being.

Writing a treatise on forgiveness,  Henry Ward Beecher said "I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one."
There was a widow who had “Rest In Peace” put on her husband’s tombstone.
When she found out that he left her out of his will, she had added, “TILL I COME.”
If truth be told, forgiveness is not easy. Mahatma Gandhi said "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

At a convention with their wives, two businessmen who had been roommates in college crossed paths. They sat in the lobby all night talking. They knew they would be in trouble with their wives. The next day, they happened to see each other.
"What did your wife think?"
"I walked in the door and my wife got historical."
"Don’t you mean hysterical?"
"No, historical. She told me everything I ever did wrong."

TRUE LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS DONE AGAINST IT !