Friendships Require Patience and Perseverance

..."P" is for Patience.
Wisdom Nugget: s iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

Source: Photo Pin

Friends are not two perfect people coming together but two imperfect people with flaws, dysfunctions, different idiosyncrasies, shortcomings and excesses coming together because they sense they have something in common to fulfil a common destiny.

William Penn puts it succinctly, "A true friend freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably." Albert Schweitzer added "In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."
Here are two keys to friendship:
First, only two pieces of iron can become friends: one piece of plastic and one piece of iron cannot, Why? Because they cannot feel this magnetic pull towards each other. So before you settle for a friend, ask yourself, can I feel that magnetic pull?

Secondly, Friendship is for sharpening. While it is true that you do not become friends with people for the sole purpose of fixing them, yet we will all attest to the fact that some of the positive changes in our character today was due to the influence of one good friend. They do not come with a hammer and filing machine to say "Boy, I need to sharpen or fix you !". But their love, conduct and lifestyle just begins to sharpen you. Sometimes they may come strong on you because "Open rebuke is better than secret love", but they primarily mould & change you by their love and tact. By the time they are done with you "Every valley would have been filled. Every mountain and hill should be made flat. The crooked roads should be made straight, and the rough ground made smooth." But "sharpening" needs plenty of "Patience" and "Creativity". If you truly care for your friend, you will not be quick to cut them off after you noticed the flaws in them. Rather you feel a sense of duty to help them, realizing that in so many areas, you too need help. Paul puts it aptly when he said, "Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into wrong-doing, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day's out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived."
When pointing out a mistake by another person, always consider the person's feelings. Milton Berle was dining with his wife, Ruth, in a Hollywood restaurant.  When a waiter put too much pepper on her salad. Mrs. Berle tasted it and said, "Hmm. Needs more salad."

 If you cut off all the friends God brings your way because they have flaws, just remember to see who is judging. Just as others have been patient with you, you also be patient in sharpening others and you will have the joy of seeing a life changed and discover that it was because of your patience and tact.

"H" Is For Honesty: Friendships Thrive On Honesty

Wisdom nugget: "An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy."

source: photo pin

Honesty is important in friendships; it is the key foundation in trust, and trust should be present in friendship. Sadly, it has become increasingly difficult to trust people because they lack honesty. People have been lied to and swindled so much that everyone is being regarded with suspicion (we take people's words with a pinch of salt).


Hansel lived with her two elder sisters; Brenda and Chloe. They never married so they had lived together for a very long time. One evening Hansel was in the kitchen preparing dinner. She called out to her sisters who were in the living room. "The phone is ringing. Can someone pick it up". Her sisters answered simultaneously "okay". But the phone kept ringing. Hansel wiped her hands on her apron and went to pick up the phone. She looked in on her sisters and found Brenda knitting and Chloe reading a book. She returned to the kitchen and after a while called out again. "There's someone at the front door." "Okay" her sisters answered simultaneously. After a while the knock continued and Hansel went to answer the door; it was the milk man. Hansel checked in on her sisters again and found that they hadn't moved from their positions. She stood at the door and yelled "OMG the kitchen is on fire." "Okay" her sisters answered simultaneously each not moving. Hansel matched into the living room, hands akimbo "why do you two never respond to anything I say." "Okay" the two sisters respond simultaneously not looking up. "I asked a question" Hansel cried in frustration. They both looked at her. "Why do you not respond to anything I say?" Hansel repeated and Brenda replied "oh come on honey. I stopped listening to you in 1987."  "when you told us you saw an alien in our front lawn and I almost fell to my death running" Chloe squints "or was it in 1985 when you woke me and told me Brenda was lying dead in her room" "no, no it was in 1982 when she woke me up and told me the house was on fire and I fell down the stairs trying to get away." "We're done listening to you honey, I'm in a wheel chair and Brenda limps because we believed you one too many times"


Have you become like Hansel that everyone no longer listens to? Have you become the kind of person that when they're talking everybody just nods even though they're not listening? People are now so used to your dishonesty that your words no longer hold meaning? But I wonder, if you are not truthful to your friend who then will you be truthful to? It is important that you tell your friends the truth no matter how painfull it is. If they have an ugly character it is your obligation as a friend to be honest with them and spell out the truth. But please don't do it by putting them down. Choose your time, place and words well and talk to them. When you're down be honest and tell your friends so that they can help you by being there for you. When they displease you, let them know. How else will they repent from it?


Someone once said "A friendship with no honesty is like food without salt. tasteless!" an unknown quote put it this way "A friendship that lacks honesty is not friendship, it's just a façade."