Tuesday, 14 May 2013

R- RESPECT. FRIENDSHIP IS RESPECT

Wisdom Nugget:A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

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The story is told of a father of five who came home with a toy; he summoned his children and asked which one should be given the present. "Who is the most obedient, never talks back to mom and does everything he or she is told to do?" He inquired. There was silence, and then a chorus of voices: "You can play with it daddy!"

Respect is a fast disappearing culture in this century even amongst families. And  it is worse amongst friends . It was  Charles de Gaulle who said, “There can be no prestige without mystery, for familiarity breeds contempt.”

One of the top 3 destroyers of friendships anywhere in the world is the Lack of Respect arising from over-familiarity.  Jason Zebehazy wrote, " Distance makes the heart grow fonder, and familiarity breeds contempt. According to this my soulmate should be in Thailand.”

Unfortunately, our friends are not in Thailand or a hundred seas away . In fact, most of our friends are very close-by, and before you know it, we begin to take each other for granted. Gradually we begin to erode the boundaries that defined the relationship in the first place (for EVERY RELATIONSHIP IS DEFINED BY BOUNDARIES) and once that happens, the relationship begins to suffer.

For instance, Anna messes up Anita's room and does not bother to fix it. She uses the toilet and does not bother to clean it, wears Anita's clothes and jewelries without permission, intrudes into her privacy at will, borrows from her and does not return or pay back. Sometimes, Anna makes promises with no intention of keeping them; she does not keep appointments and completely disregards and abuses her time.  Problem is, most often, we do not value our friends until we loose them. Never take your friends for granted. They are your greatest wealth.

Frankly, if you want to keep your friends then "show yourself friendly". Respect and honour your friends. Look at what you've got and make the best of it. It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

Richard David Bach said "The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.” One Persian Proverb says “He who wants a rose must respect the thorn.” And Nelson Mandela concludes “For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”

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