The Role Of Integrity In Friendships

Wisdom Nugget: "Walk upright, act right, tell the truth." "Don't hurt your friend, don't blame (backbite) your neighbour; despise the despicable." "Keep your word even when it costs you, make an honest living, Never take a bribe."

Source: Photo Pin

According to Business Dictionary.com "Integrity is Strict adherence to a moral code, reflected in transparent honesty and complete harmony in what one thinks, says, and does."

Two of the greatest killers of friendship are lies and backbiting.

Consider the role of LIES: If you borrow money from a friend and promise to pay back at a given date but for some reasons beyond your control, couldn't pay back, be honest enough to call him up, explain the current situation and renegotiate a future payment date. If you pretend like nothing is at stake (after all, is he not supposed to be your friend, he should understand) and stop picking his calls, that is the beginning of the end of your friendship. If you keep lying about little things, the day he discovers it is the end of your friendship. Remember what Mark Twain said "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."

Now, look critically at the vice called BACKBITING: The foundation for friendship is "Trust". A true friend is someone you can be vulnerable with and not be afraid. Ralph Waldo Emerson said "It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." If therefore I was stupid before you and you made my stupidity the subject of a gossip and whilst pretending to be with me, you back bite me behind, you are a dangerous fellow, not worthy to be called a friend. Someone said "An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind."

Before speaking of any person or sharing stuff about your friend that is controversial THINK! Ask yourself the following questions:

T - Is it true?
H - Is it helpful?
I - Is it inspiring?
N - Is it necessary?
K - Is it kind?

If what you are about to say does not pass those tests, keep your mouth shut!

Once, four preachers met for a friendly gathering. During the conversation one preacher said, "Our people come to us and pour out their hears, confess certain sins and needs. Let's do the same. Confession is good for the soul." In due time all agreed. One confessed he liked to go to movies and would sneak off when away from his church. The second confessed to liking to smoke cigars and the third one confessed to liking to play cards. When it came to the fourth one, he wouldn't confess. The others pressed him saying, "Come now, we confessed ours. What is your secret or vice?" Finally he answered, "It is gossiping and I can hardly wait to get out of here."

Morris Mandel said, "Gossip is the most deadly microbe. It has neither legs nor wings. It is composed entirely of tales, and most of them have stings."