"D" Is For Daring: Do You Find Friendships Daunting?

Wisdom Nugget: "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
                                                                    - Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934.

Source: Photo Pin

Many people do not have friends for the singular reason that they have been hurt too many times. So they decide to stay on their own to avoid being hurt again. As much as I relate with that, I do not think that isolating yourself is a path to a successful life. What can one achieve without a helping hand really? Even if you do achieve it alone, you would die a very lonely person. That's why I say that friendship is indeed a daunting venture. It's a courageous move!

When we make friends we really do not know everything about them, we probably just identified a quality in them and decided to call them friends. But you have not seen every side of them, you do not know if they will stand by you when you're down, you do not know if they'll lend a helping hand when you need one, you do not know if they'll push you on your way to success or down to your failure, you do not know for sure what they're capable of. You just call them 'friend' based on a speculation! Friends have to prove themselves, until they do, it's all a gamble which you should take anyway. Take it, go out there and find a friend. Don't die in loneliness because a joker came into your life, trampled on you and walked away.

Old Sam used to meet with his friend on Thursday afternoons at a café an hour away from his home. They met to play chess games and talk about old times. For six Thursdays consecutively his friend wouldn't show up and every time Sam ran into him he would give an excuse; a new one every time. And the next Thursday Old Sam will walk to the café to wait for his dear old friend who would never show. Sam's wife tried to convince him that his friend had moved on, he was apparently tired of these meetings or had probably made a new friend. But old Sam would always go back despite his wife's attempt to get him to stop. One Thursday after waiting for over one hour, he picked up his coat and decided to leave. An old man walked up to him and said, "this lady must be very important to you. Every Thursday you wait for her and every Thursday she never shows." Old Sam smiled sadly and explained that whom he waited for was no lady but an old friend whom he used to play chess with. "Aha!" He loved to play chess too the old man bellowed. He continued to explain that he always played alone. Old Sam asked why he had never seen him there at the café and the man replied "because you're always too busy looking at your watch and out the window." Old Sam smiled sadly. Would he like to play chess? The man asked. But Sam declined explaining that he had a long walk home and had to set out early. Would Sam meet him next Thursday for a chess game? "Of course" old Sam replied and headed home. Sam told his wife what had happened. His wife asked him if he would go and Sam replied "but of course!" "How do you know he won't stand you up like your old friend has been doing?" his wife asked and Sam replied "I don't know. It's a risk I'm willing to take"

Old Sam is more than willing to risk being stood up again. Do you know why? That's how friendship is cultivated. It's all risk and risk and risk until you begin to trust them. Even after trusting, some friends might still hurt you. Do you then decide to stop having friends? No! It's all a dare! Take it!

There are so many things that you could be, you could learn through a friend you've never met. Don't give up that opportunity simply because you're too afraid to take the dare of developing friendship.
Lasting friendship can occur suddenly like in our nugget. You can never tell where or how you'll meet a friend. Just open your heart to it.

"N" Is for Nurturing: Friendships Need Nurturing

Wisdom nugget: "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

Source: Photo Pin

The Merriam Webster Dictionary gives a clear and concise description of what "nurturing implies." Simply put, "It's to supply with nourishment; educate and further the development of."

I've heard a couple of people use the cliché ''in the good old days" Now is the good old days, probably referring to the past or when the friendship was interesting; my sincere question is how about now? Is there a missing link? Is the sparkle that used to be there still intact? All these questions bring to mind the fact that  friendship is a responsibility. Nurturing friendships is a sure way to improving relationships, otherwise the thrills begin to wane and the friendship becomes eroded by the things that had put a strain on it over time.  Undoubtedly, it's not easy to nurture anything; patience is one of the things you need if you will see the fruits you so much desire in  friendship. It may take some real time because individuals are wired differently. Sure, you wouldn't want to give up on your child who really gets choosy about foods and then say ''well I think I've exhausted my food options, now it's time to give up on and focus on something else that's worth my time." You may feel that's the best, but then there are dire consequences.

The truth is that your child stops growing and gets malnourished just because you gave up on nurturing him. It's the same way a husband and wife need to nurture their love for one another because they are friends. Understand the importance of developing friendships and nurturing the friendship. If there is no form of nurturing, the friendship begins to die slowly.

Since her high school years, Dorothy had a passion to become an internationally acclaimed public speaker. Sometimes she read out loud to herself and sometimes to the hearing of "so called" friends. But she had a seemingly great challenge with her pronunciation of words. Sometimes during her reading sessions at school, she would hear outbursts of laughter and then she returns to her seat in shame. It began to take a toll on her health, she felt inadequate and her passion for public speaking began to wane. Two months later, her family had to relocate and that was quite challenging for her. Her greatest concern was how she would cope in her new school. Will she meet with angels as friends this time or with those worse than the former friends? Many unanswered questions.

Interestingly, it was a different ball game all together. Her first day at school was thrilling, it was a quite receptive one for her and she hoped to meet real friends afterwards. One of the days she stood by the window in her room as she gazed into the sky, lost in utter admiration of the stars. Her phone rang and it was her mate at school who got her phone number from the class directory, and asked how she could help her edit the speech she was to deliver in 2 weeks. Dorothy stood amazed for a while and all she could mutter was "ok.ay". Edit what? She thought aloud. Is that some sort of joke? She felt inspired as she got ready for the meeting, she probably couldn't decipher why. The summary was that she helped the girl edit her speech and the girl being an excellent public speaker began to help her with her pronunciation exercises and gradually she began to improve, her confidence grew in stepwise successions. Her new friend encouraged her, and was patient with her as she got better. Each of them played a life changing role; and they both improved just because of the conscious decision to help each other and realizing that everyone had special ability. It was a nurturing experience for both. Dorothy became one of the best valedictorian of her time because she was receptive to nurturing.

Nurturing does a lot for a friendship, but I shall list five of these things.

Nurturing improves, illuminates, educates, renews and transforms.

As Marvin J Ashton says: "Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart. One who looks out for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them"