How Priceless Are Your Friendships?

"D" Is For Dear:
Wisdom Nugget: "A single rose can be my garden...a single friend, my world"
                                                                             - Leo Buscaglia

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David and Jonathan were two great friends, and their relationship is one we are all familiar with. Jonathan loved David as himself. It was quite evident to all how dear they were to each other. People who are fond of each other share lots of things in common. There is usually an overflow of joy when we know there's someone who is near and dear to our heart. Although, that feeling of joy is sometimes taken away by the physical absence of the friend. But physical absence doesn't mean that our friend is emotionally unavailable. We can be thousands of miles away from a friend and still remain dear to them.

Friendship is also not dependent on class or ethnicity. What matters is that you both share a positive interest and truly love each other. That's all it takes to make a friend dear! Consider this in the following story:
As a part of an assignment for a doctoral thesis, a college student spent a year with a group of Navajo Indians on a reservation in the Southwest. As part of his research he lived with one of the Navajo families, sleeping in their hut, eating their food, working with them, & generally living the life of a 20th-century Indian.

The old grandmother of the family spoke no English at all, yet a very close friendship formed between them. They spent a great deal of time sharing a friendship that was meaningful to each, yet unexplainable to anyone else. In spite of the language difference, they shared the common language of love & understood each other. Over the months he learned a few phrases of Navajo, & she picked up a little of the English language.

When it was time for him to return to the campus to complete his thesis, the tribe held a going-away celebration. It was marked by sadness since the young man had become close to the whole village & all would miss him. As he prepared to leave, the old grandmother came to bid him good-bye. With tears streaming down her cheeks, she placed her hands on either side of his face, looked directly into his eyes & said, "I like me best when I'm with you."

Despite the language barrier, the college student was able to make friends who became dear to him and vice versa. All he did was make an impact in their lives so much that it was hard for them to let go when it was time for him to leave. What impact do you leave on your friends? Does out of sight mean out of mind for you? Do you take and take and not give back? Then you are building friendships that are sure to crumble. To build friendships that will remain dear, you have to reciprocate the love your friends shower on you. Distance may be a physical barrier sometimes but that special place still stays green. Keep in touch with those who are dear to you and always let them know how great a company they are. 

A Friend Knows All, And Loves You Still

Wisdom Nugget: "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

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Using F.R.I.E.N.D.S.H.I.P as an acronym in the next couple of days let me share with you on the Laws of friendship.

F= FOCUS: FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN GIVE TO THE FRIENDSHIP, NOT ON WHAT THE FRIENDSHIP CAN GIVE TO YOU. The first law of love is GIVE, not TAKE.

As humans we are all naturally selfish. We all need someone to love us, care for us, encourage us and fight for us. And quite honestly there is nothing wrong with desiring all these, except that, imagine that both you and your friend came into the relationship to TAKE all these and more from the other. Naturally, you will soon be tearing at each other's throat demanding for your own portion of love, care etc. But imagine that you both came to GIVE all that and more. Soon there will be abundance of love, care etc. and because both of you are trying to out give the other, the relationship is constantly enriched and overflowing in love, care etc. The truth, however, is that like life itself, (where to live, you must GIVE OUT carbon dioxide and TAKE IN oxygen) so in friendship we must both give and RECEIVE (not DEMAND) whilst we FOCUS on our  primary responsibility on what we BRING  to the table. To enter a relationship with the goal to TAKE is the almighty formula for disappointments, heart breaks and self pity. You are hanging your joy on a man like you and the arms of flesh will fail you.

Jackie Robinson was the first black to play major league baseball. Breaking baseball's colour barrier, he faced jeering crowds in every stadium. While playing one day in his home stadium in Brooklyn, he committed an error. The fans began to ridicule him. He stood at second base, humiliated, while the fans jeered. Then, shortstop Pee Wee Reese came over and stood next to him. He put his arm around Jackie Robinson and faced the crowd. The fans grew quiet. Robinson later said that arm around his shoulder saved his career. The gesture spoke more eloquently than the words: This man is my friend.

As Elbert Hubbard puts it, "A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same." And Albert Camus adds, "Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."

Laws Of Friendship

Wisdom Nugget: "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

Source: Photo Pin

Friends are the next outer circle of relationships after family members. Unlike family who you did not choose, friends maintain an on-going contact with you because they want to. You go through life's journey together as a family because you all live in the same town and have grown through the years together.

Friendship develops through a common activity - work, school, sports, church, etc. Unless you have a reason to spend time with each other on a regular basis you will never get to know each other well enough. A bonding takes place out of sharing a common experience and seeing how each of you reacts differently to the same circumstances. So what would be the dos and don'ts of good friendship?
Although there are no "exact" rules of friendship, there are some guidelines that can help create more enriching, productive, and long-lasting friendships. Many people treat friendships as if they were somehow less valuable than family or romantic relationships, but actually all friendships have the same capacity to enrich our lives and increase our general happiness. In fact, the good book says "there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother". The rules of friendship are important to being happy whether you seeking a romantic partner or not, and you will be more successful in creating a quality relationship with anyone in your life if you can approach making friends from a position of independence and happiness of your own to start with. However, real friendships are not created by legal, social, or monetary obligations, and instead are usually held together only by mutual interests, respect, love and shared values...Hmmm, did you say SHARED VALUES?

Let me give you a picture of life without shared values or Principles: James Patterson and Peter Kim, in "The Day America Told the Truth", 1991 posted this question: "What are you willing to do for $10,000,000?" Two-thirds of Americans polled would agree to at least one, some to several of the following:
Would abandon their entire family (25%)
Would abandon their church (25%)
Would become prostitutes for a week or more (23%)
Would give up their American citizenships (16%)
Would leave their spouses (16%)
Would withhold testimony and let a murderer go free (10%)
Would kill a stranger (7%)
Would put their children up for adoption (3%)

Compare that to a man of Principle called Daniel: "But Daniel determined that he would not defile himself by eating the king's food or drinking his wine, so he asked the head of the palace staff to exempt him from the royal diet."