Why You Must Forgive Yourself

Wisdom Nuggets: "We achieve inner health only through forgiveness - the forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves." - Joshua Loth Liebman

Don't hide from your feelings

It's important to deal with this issue of unwarranted sense of guilt, which  many people struggle with. This is not talking about guilt which occurs as a result of un-confessed wrongs; but the feeling of guilt which continues to trouble us even after all has been forgiven and forgotten.

Feelings of guilt experienced as a result of un-confessed sin in our lives is a proper response. This guilt may, sometimes, linger for a while as a consequence of a grieving conscience, and that is a proper guilt. To ignore this kind of guilt is as dangerous as harbouring unforgiveness against yourself.
Guilt is a form of guard (or guage) for the conscience. But we must assume that we should be deprived of the freedom of forgiveness. Holding unto feeling of bitterness (and unforgiveness) can deprive us of peace of mind.

A woman told a story about her inability to forgive herself, when she fell ill. Her story begins thus: "When I was growing up with type I diabetes, I felt a sense of guilt as if somehow it was my fault. I reflected back on everything in my life that I had done wrong and immediately saw them as the reasons for my ill-health ...I'd also made some choices in life which proved to be wrong. Again, I laid carried the pain of guilt around. In times as this we tend to hold ourselves to harsher judgment than we do others. Suddenly those little things we did, which seemed so small, would  gloom and brighten the blemishes on our lives, so tha we see them as unforgivable. These emotions can quickly snowball into a mess of trouble as they did for me. Suddenly I viewed everything and everyone I touched as if they were my victims. I reached a point where I had little joy left deep inside of myself because all I could understand through the fog was that I was ruining all the hopes and dreams of those I loved, even though that was not true. I felt as if I had single-handedly ruined the lives of my siblings, husband and children solely because I was ill or because of the wrong choices I had made in my life.

Similar feelings of guilt can be experienced by someone who loses a family member to death. All they can think of is "What if I had done...?", "If only I had been there..." or "I wish I had told them...." With time i came to understand that i wasn't being fair to myself and that i needed to forget about the past, so i worked harder towards forgiving myself. Blaming yourself after an event must have occurred (and after you've obtained forgiveness)  is very wrong. You shouldn't. In as much as you have forgiven those who've wronged you, you must also forgive yourself. Don't blame yourself; and quit taking those guilt-trips down memory lane. What's to be gained from blaming ourselves for things we had no control over? The most compassionate thing you can do for yourself and others is to forgive yourself.

An unknown sage once said: "You can't undo anything you've already done, but you can face it. You can tell the truth. You can seek forgiveness. And let God do the rest."

According to Jane Fonda, "The people who did you wrong or who didn't quite know how to show up, you forgive them. And forgiving them allows you to forgive yourself too"

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